Say, "I Can"

In yoga I frequently hear my teachers ask us to "imagine if we spent as much time saying 'I can' as we say 'I can't,' and then imagine replacing all of those 'I can'ts' with 'I cans." So of course, as I've done with many of these little mantras, I have fully adopted this one into my life, and I've been saying, "I can." I know this probably sounds ridiculous, considering what's going on in my life right now, but I find that even in really small situations, finding the strength to say, "I can" brings me some joy. Yesterday, this video was shown to me for the second time, and I could not help but think this was fate.

I am just loving the idea of "I can" right now, so please join me and adopt it as your mantra. Whether it applies to cooking a 20 lb turkey, changing lives in India, applying for your dream job, finishing your law school applications, getting through your first year teaching, running a marathon (or a half, that's cool too), breaking up with your significant other, finding a significant other, finishing your first semester of undergrad, or anything else, I challenge you to say, "I can!"

Today began the visual of our "No Excuses Campaign" in my classroom. Below there is a photo of our no excuses wall. Attached to the clothes pins are notecards with all of the excuses my students have ever made (in English, Spanish, and maybe even some French!). We are hanging our excuses out to dry and fly away. We CAN make a difference in our lives by saying goodbye to excuses, goodbye to "I can't," and hello to I CAN.

No Excuses

Today I had a revelation. I finally figured out how to make my life story, and my grief relevant to my students. After a toilsome day of childish arguments, a folder fight, and a child pretending to choke himself I pretty much thought that I'd had enough today. 3/4s through my last block I got to what must've really been my limit: after I'd already sat on the floor under a table with a student (amusing picture to you all I am sure), dealt with tears because a student accused another student of a homosexual kissing session (6th graders have wild imaginations), argued with two angry girl students about how they need to do their work in class even if they're mad...well I just about exploded!

That is actually just what I did. I stood in my "angry spot" in the classroom, bugged my eyes out a little, and with my angry vein throbbing I tried to stare each student in the eye as I said this (said or screamed, it's however you imagine it):

"I am sick and tired of you all making excuses for not doing your work. Where do you think excuses are going to get you in life?" (student response is a mumble that sounds to me like a combination of nowhere and jail...yikes!)

"Do you think that I got to be a teacher by making excuses my whole life?" (blank stares, wide eyes, I had their attention!)

"Now I am going to tell you a little bit about myself, I don't mean to be emotional, but I think that this is very important so listen up! I did not have an easy childhood growing up. I had to take on a lot of responsibility for my younger siblings, and I had to take care of my mother. Do you think that I went to school and made excuses about this? Do you think that I got into one of the best colleges in the country by making excuses?" (The students sat up, looked at me, I had struck a nerve)

"Now that I've shared this I want you to think about me as a person, because although I am a teacher I am also a person and I expect to be treated that way. Do you remember learning that someone in my family passed away a few weeks ago? (nods) Well, do I come into school everyday and tell you I can't teach because of this? No, I do not. So stop coming in here and thinking of every excuse you can in order to get out of doing work, because I am over it, and I am not accepting any excuses anymore, because it's not doing you any good."

Although, I would usually never share one of these lectures to my students on my blog, I felt that this one was very important. Through this little outburst I learned how to inspire my students through my grief and positively influence them despite this.

Tomorrow we are going to begin our NO EXCUSES campaign. In every block I am going to give a similar lecture as today and then I am going to have students write down all of the excuses they have ever made on slips of paper. We are going to display these excuses, and say goodbye to them forever. I am going to share short bios of leaders who did not let excuses stand in their way, and then I am going to let the students share their own stories and how they are not going to let excuses stand in their way. This will be an ongoing campaign for the rest of the year. Please feel free to send any ideas or resources that you have my way!

The Little Things

When you wake up in the morning you never quite know what is going to be the thing that makes or breaks your day. I know that so much of the time my students are the ones to cause me pure joy, or copious amounts of stress. As I am grieving, I find myself waiting for the little things that will really cheer me up. The other night my dad and I talked about all of the cards that we've received, and how just a small note can make all of the difference to us. I look forward to these cards, to phone calls, texts, and emails from my incredibly supportive friends, to the wonderful and remarkably joyous moments with my students, to losing myself in my kitchen, to the Saturday farmers market, and to yoga.

I must share one of the best cards that I've gotten with all of you (The pictures are a little funny because I am trying to hide the student's name):

The front says: "As long as you are out I will read every book on.... EARTH"

The first inside cover says:

"Dear Ms. Samuel I know your sadder than ever. Since your my favorite teacher, and the nicest person I know. I made this card. I love you like my own family. I know how you feel my great grandma died in 09. You are indeed important and a special person in my life. Hope you like my poem!!!!"

The poem goes like this:

Title: I am used to tears

"1 My mom wets up my shirt. I am used to tears. I turn tears into smiles when cries are near. It's impossible to keep the cries out my ears.

2 Sniff and shiver. I will share all the pain. Sharing is more beautiful than a horse's mane. Lot's of others do not feel the same

3 Ms. Samuel...I am used to tears !!!"

I wish I could say that I taught him to write like that, but he did that all on his own!

Breathe Through The Pain

Last week I found myself continuously singing, "This Little Light of Mine." (If you are unfamiliar: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/This_Little_Light_of_Mine). This was my way of breathing through the unmeasurable emotional pain that I was feeling. Coincidentally on Friday I was in a yoga class and the teacher told us that the first mantra many of us learned was "This Little Light of Mine," then as we closed class instead of doing the usual Om chant we sang "This Little Light of Mine."

At some point during one of my many yoga classes this summer we were lying in frog pose, which if you don't know yoga it is a pose that really stretches your hips in a way that is sometimes painful. The teacher told us to breathe through the pain. This is a common thought in yoga, as you are taught to keep a steady breath throughout your practice, no matter the strain or pain that you feel.

I have been working with this philosophy all year, and its made me a different teacher. When things bother me in my classroom I breathe in and out, silently chanting "let " as I breathe in "go" as I breathe out. Its given me a whole new presence among my students and opened me up for a lot more room to care about the things that really matter.

One of the reasons I sang "This Little Light of Mine" this week was because I wanted to really ignite my inner light. As a Quaker I believe that there is that of God in everyone, so this belief is embodied in my inner light. I think that the yogi breath can contribute to ignite this light as well, which is why it works to breathe through the pain. If you are not spiritual, or do not believe in this inner light, you ultimately believe that every person possesses some kind of inner strength so I would suggest breathe through the pain to find that strength.

I must ignite all of these in this time of great tragedy. I am going to be taking very deep breaths, singing to myself, and focus in on my inner light in order to find strength.

Namaste

Today in yoga the teacher said that Namaste means "the light in me to the light in you." This may not be the exact meaning but the idea is that you are bowing to the people around you and their inner light, or souls. A few days ago, my friend Hannah reminded me of a pre meal grace that I made up in elementary school, "There is a light in you, there is a light in me, there is a light in everybody." Hannah is using this quote to drive her personal essays to law school, to say the least I am flattered, but Hannah and I both know that this grace is about more than the words themselves. Just as in yoga, when we say "namaste" at the end of class we know that it is more then just celebrating our souls together. In both of these sayings, the essential element is that there is a community of people who celebrate each other, these sayings are just a way to remind us to say it verbally.

As a teacher, I think about community a lot. I remember back to my experience at institute, where my friend Lexy and I created the "Master Learners Kitchen" in order to create a community of learners for our students in the Mississippi Delta. I now work daily to build a sense of community for my students. I went to observe in my old 6th grade classrooms last week, and thought about the community there, the constant celebration of students as individuals. In college I had multiple communities that helped me develop as an individual, and I have a community of friends who do the same for me today.

I studied the sociology of education in school, and thought a lot about the communities that are developed in public schools. In every paper I wrote, or research project that I did my thesis always seemed to come back to the importance of a school's culture in transforming a school. I work in a school that is in the process of transformation. We focus heavily on assessment, management, professional development, etc., but we rarely talk about community. We rarely stop and metaphorically say "namaste" to each other. Teachers, children, administrators, counselors, secretaries, etc. are rarely celebrated for the light inside of each of them. When I began Teach For America I was set on making a difference and I think through yoga and my Quaker values I've found the way that I personally can transform my school. I am going to say "namaste" to my children hourly, to other teachers daily, and to my administrators at least once a week. I hope through modeling this behavior I can influence others to do the same.

So I will start with all of you, my friends, family, and coworkers who read my blog, "Namaste!"

Coleman Report in the Modern Era

The following post is inspired by this article (it is admittedly long, but worth the read):

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/04/technology/technology-in-schools-faces-questions-on-value.html?pagewanted=6&_r=1&hp

Before I begin I am going to warn you that this is one of those posts that is more about sociology than my students, but I threw in a picture at the end to amuse you, and there will be a back to school post soon.

I've been looking for inspiration since my last post and finally here it is! This article questions the effectiveness of technology in the classroom, mostly as a result of one school district that has spent a significant amount of money to have increased technology in all of the classrooms there. As test results came in this summer it was time for districts to really consider what is going on in their classrooms that is effective and what is not. Unfortunately the tech heavy school district did not raise test scores since the implementation of laptops/smartboards/projectors/etc. As I read I could not help but think back to all of my sociology of education classes to one of the most cited reports in the history of American education: The Coleman Report. In brief, The Coleman Report found that increased spending in America's schools did not actually result in increased high academic achievement. So to sum it up school funding ≠ increased student achievement. Now the report was hundreds of pages long so it said a lot more than that, but at the time this was really BIG news to people because the thought was always more spending = high achievement. After reading this article I couldn't help but think, "well we've proven Coleman's hypothesis right again."

Technology is a hot topic in education, just as it is in the rest of the world. The thing I find the most amusing about this though is that while most top executives carry their Ipads to work, or college students take notes on their laptops in class while they simultaneously wirelessly search the internet, the technology in classrooms is actually pretty archaic. I think that I've noted this in posts before. Let me give you a few examples: the oh-so-coveted smartboard (an enormous piece of equipment that many teachers cannot even use properly that only allows a few students at a time to interact with it manually), my class computers (although I am very grateful for them, are PCs that run on an old server, an older version of word, and are all plugged into the wall), laptop carts (I haven't actually seen one of these at my school, but I've heard they exist and I imagine the technology is far from up to date), and the age-old overhead projector (which is actually being phased out at my school for document cameras, but we have what looks like an overhead projector graveyard in the library right now).

If Coleman found that in 1966 an increased spending on schools was not directly increasing student achievement than what are we doing spending all of this money on technology? Now this is not to say that I do not see the value in educational spending, because believe me I DO, nor is to say that I don't want those Nooks in my classroom this year because I DO, but I just hope that we are figuring out where the right places to spend are. Sociologists frequently harp on the fact that Coleman's report found that it was not so much school spending on resources that effected student outcomes but instead it was about student background and socioeconomic status. If technology is not helping close gaps, then we need to find out what truly is the difference between the experience of a successful high SES student and an unsuccessful low SES student and spend money on filling those gaps. Now we are getting into examining the whole child and what gaps exist between students from different SES levels, and I could go on about this for a long time. I believe that what it comes down to are gaps in cultural capital. Initially, we may have thought that technology fits into the category of cultural capital, but maybe this study says it doesn't. It may just be another resource that is not closing the gaps as Coleman said.

In my next post I will talk about the gaps we are creating/sustaining with cultural capital, how I suggest to avoid creating/sustaining those gaps, and how I plan to address it this year with MY STUDENTS!

A picture to leave you with...an explosion of resources that were not being used by a veteran teacher at my school. Coleman would not support. To my dismay, and eventual amusement this is how I found my classroom about 7 days before school began.

Luckily the cabinets were miraculously emptied before I went to dispose of everything in them.

Hidden Behind the Financial Crisis

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/08/education/08educ.html?_r=1&scp=2&sq=arne%20duncan&st=cse

As I was sitting down to my usual breakfast and paper reading, trying to find something somewhat upbeat to read I came across this article. Hidden on page 10 of the NYtimes I found out about this new piece of legislation that is sure to change accountability standards nationwide.

I know we are in a crisis, but I don't want this to go unnoticed.